luckyjak

Feb. 22, 2012 at 6:07pm with 94 notes

my headcanon (3.14 spoilers, Sebofsky, mostly silly)

Karofsky transfers to Dalton post 3.14.

Sebastian (who is still an asshole, but who feels SO BAD because suicide is SAD and he never wanted anyone to actually take their own life, and he’s not completely redeemed yet but he is trying, okay?) immediately serenades him while being backed up by the Warblers. Possibly with a hot new Katy Perry single.

Karofsky calls Kurt in a panic because holy crap, a boy just sang to him with a flirty Katy Perry song, what do I do?

And Kurt is all, shh, that is just the Warbler mating call. Go along with it.

(Offscreen, Kurt and Blaine fistbump. And then fuck.)

Then Sebastian corners Karofsky and is all “Hey bby, like my song? ~~Like my dick?~~ WE SHOULD DATE.” He mostly means it as a pity date, because fuck, even closet-case suicide boys deserve to get laid at least once in their lives, and Sebastian is something of a slut.

They go out. Karofsky calls Kurt eight different times to ask about what to wear, where to eat, what to say, ect.

Sebastian does not get laid that night. But Karofsky paid for dinner and he had a good time, so they decide to go out again. And again. Until eventually someone points out that Sebastian and Karofsky are boyfriends, and then Sebastian has a panic attack because fuck monogamy, but he also really really likes Karofsky and doesn’t want to break up with him. Perhaps he calls Blaine and panics some more. Blaine hangs up on him and then goes back to sleep, like a sane person.

Cue Dave tying Sebastian to his bed and convincing him that monogamy is okay.

And then Sebastian gets laid.

Then, depending on what grade these characters actually are in, two things happen:

1) Sebastian is a senior while Karofsky is a junior. Sebastian goes to New York and stalks Kurt so that they can compete to become the snarkiest knights who miss their stupid Ohio boyfriends. Karofsky transfers back to McKinley because Dalton doesn’t have a football team, and eventually becomes Vitriolic Best Buds with Blaine.

2) Seb and Dave are both juniors. Dave wants to go back to McKinley because Dalton doesn’t have a football team. Sebastian follows him ~~because he actually secretly love him~~ because that’s just what Warblers do, okay? They deflect to McKinley to follow their boyfriends. Who is he to break tradition? Together, they make it their mission to befriend/annoy the ever loving crap out of Blaine Anderson, who is too polite to tell them to go fuck themselves. And they form the McKinley High Queer Club 2.0.

And in New York, Kurt is laughing his ass off.